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OPINION — Look how we’ve changed since jumping on a boat in Europe, landing on the East Coast, expanding to the west and building (supposedly) the most powerful nation in the world. Yet, how did we manage to leave the really sparkly and shiny traditions back in England after defeating them in our war for independence?

On Saturday, a chap named Charles Phillip Arthur George of the House of Windsor was crowned the “King of the United Kingdom and 14 other Commonwealth realms,” according to numerous news sources. He’ll go by King Charles III. I call him King Chuck.

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